YAY YAY YAY

Vielle vielle vielle. 6 months 6 months 6 months. yay yay yay. vielle vielle vielle.

Merci mon coeur de m'encourager à obtenir l'instrument de mes rêves!!!

vielle vielle vielle. vielle vielle vielle.

Wow and woW

Three very important events occurred today.

1: I ordered my vielle à roue. However, I initially ordered it in G, but then I went back and checked and discovered I needed to have it tuned in D! So--I just sent KERBOEUF an e-mail correcting myself. He's probably thinking, "Stupid person is buying my handcrafted instrument." Hehehe...well.... It will be tuned in D now, I hope, because the type of music I want to play is tuned in D. Yess....I will be in business in 6 months. Then, I will need to learn how to tune it, and take care of it, and wash it and feed it and hug it and kiss it....my vielle.... How I have waited for you so long.... I AM SO EXCITED!!

2: I got the Immigration internship. Yes. I knew I was coherent to myself in the interview, but I wasn't sure I was coherent to the 3 people in front of me. I guess I was.

3: Skype is on strike. GOOD. I was beginning to feel suffocated by it. He was becoming unresponsive, which would just make me angry, and then the situation would spiral downward from there. I like that. Quality conversation, not quantity. I feel like I've been glued to my Skype for the past month now. It just happened, I didn't even want it to. It's a good thing. We need some time apart so we can live life and prepare for exams and other things. It's getting busy now. I have a monster paper to write (hopefully by noon tomorrow), and 4 exams to prepare. I have my music to work on, and books to read. He's got games to play, people to see... Really he amazes me. He's really changed so much since the beginning of our relation. He's been wonderful throughout. George Sand says that love is believing in the superiority of the being one loves, and that without it, all that is left is friendship. Well--he's pretty special, even if he does play computer games. He dances with me when I ask him. He also feeds me. So no Skype. I am ready to beat this software into the ground. I don't know how it happened, but at 6,000 miles apart we managed to get TOO CLOSE. No longer. We can live normal lives now.

Rainy Day Man

I have a hero, his name is....well, he's my hero. He ordered my method book for the vielle à roue!! Yes! Bernard Kerboeuf had given me his name and his address, only I didn't know that it was his address. Finally, I figured it out, and found the author on www.pagesblanches.fr. And then I told him, and he ordered it. :) Even if I don't have a vielle à roue by Christmas, I will certainly have a method book to pore over beforehand.

Tomorrow, I am going to call Mr. Kerboeuf and order my first vielle. Tomorrow, and from there--6 months til showtime.

I was happy to see him, but he seemed preoccupied and frustrated. I hope he could solve his problem.

We talked about an article I had seen in the Washingtonian, about women who donate their eggs to fertility clinics. The ones interviewed were professional, women with careers who simply don't want (any more) children, are compassionate toward those unfortunate couples who cannot conceive, and don't mind taking a cocktail of hormones--for perhaps $6,000-$8,000 per egg culling.

Now, at first, I though, "That might be a good idea. I bet I could get more money than that because of my high education [it's true, better educated donors, more beautiful ones, and more successful ones sell for more money.]." But then I thought, "Wait, that means I would have 1/2 of me running around fertilized by someone else's sperm." I know I would have nothing to do with the process once my eggs were donated, but I really didn't like that idea. Actually, my hero pointed that out to me.

It's a strange feeling. On one hand, you'd be populating the earth, without the pain of child birth! On the other hand, you're populating the earth and you won't know about it.

Maybe it's not sch a good idea. Like, if my significant other had donated to some fertility program, I would feel very strange knowing his children were being born in some unknown person's life. I wouldn't like it.

So--definitely no donations of reproductive material.

-----

In other news, well, yesterday. I don't know why that dream would affect me so much. The whole day was just awful. "Just a nightmare." And today, we just acted like it didn't happen. I feel like we need to talk about it. If there's one thing that bugs me more than being upset, it's not talking about it to allay any issues. I wish we could do that better. Today was not the best--he was busy, and I was busy. Maybe we can talk about it tomorrow, when we both have time.

Epuisée

I feel tired, all the way down to my slipped discs. Today I can hardly lift my arms or putter on over to school. It probably has something to do with my dream, but I don't want to talk about it any more.

But yes--tired, and it's Wednesday, the longest day of the week made longer by an evening meeting.

---20h04
You guessed it--I skipped my evening meeting. Oh well. I probably couldn't concentrate anyway. I think I've started seeing things--people more precisely--one person, even more precisely.

I have a boatload of stuff to do tonight. I just need to turn the emotions off.

Roots

Maybe I should become a vegetarian. Being bombarded left and right with accounts of how livestock are raised and slaughtered for human consumption has just left me disgusted with the whole process--chickens, cows, veal, fish, milk.

But then again, vegetables and produce too--spinach recalls and farm subsidies aren't pretty either.

Maybe I should just stop eating everything that comes from a store and make my own food. That would be great, yeah right.

And I wish people would stop operating puppy mills already. But then again--why stop there? Why keep building, why keep letting China pollute itself into oblivion, why let humans proliferate???

There is just so much....

This may be it

Bernard Kerboeuf, I believe YOU will manufacture with tender loving care my very first vielle à roue. I have a name for this creature not yet in existence, but I will wait until she is in my hands before I reveal it.

Vielle à roue

I want it. so bad. *sigh* But I still need to wait at least 2-3 years for it. Sad. Elle ne voit pas la valeur d'un tel instrument car elle ne l'a jamais vu. Enfin, c'est exactement pour cela que je veux être capable de l'avoir sans lui rien demander. Moi. moi moi moi. Sauf--je dois attendre 2 ans, voire 3, voire 4. Ces 3 ans sont un gaspillage de temps. Je gaspille mon énergie, ma vie, ma jeunesse. Je ne serai qu'un tailleur à la fin. Avec argent, sans âme.