Oh

So this must be what it feels like to lose all you love. I'm an idiot. I was wrong, and now I fear he cannot forgive me. It takes a moment like this sometimes to realize how much you love someone. I love him so much more than I let him know, even when I already tell him 50 times a day.

He's changed his website. His southpark images are all gone. His spectacle section is gone. His LAN section is gone. I didn't want this. I didn't realize the consequences of what I was saying. I would rather see his caricatured friends smiling at me deviantly than nothing. This is not what I wanted. I just wanted him.

I was a fool. I am a fool. I even had a hint of it when I was talking to him last night. I wish I could take back everything, but of course, I can't. I was so wrong! Why did I do that? Pourquoi viens-je de blesser la personne que j'aime la plus? Pourquoi je n'ai pas pu me taire et laisser aller? J'espère que nous pourrons devenir plus forts après ce test. J'ai confiance.

My roses are still going strong...some of them are starting to wilt a little.